The Hazards of Having Kids
by misspatchesmom
Summary: Tony and Ziva learn the importance of having a lock on the bedroom door. Part of the "You Complete Me" universe. Rated T for the first scene.


The Hazards of Having Kids

 _Tony and Ziva learn the importance of having a lock on the master bedroom door._

"Oh, yes, Tony, yes…" Ziva was on top, and had just climaxed, sending Tony into his own release. The sheet and blanket were in a pile at the end of the bed.

"Oh, Zi – va, oh…"

She leaned forward to lock her lips on his, their bodies still joined, "Ani ohevet otcha," she purred into the kiss. Just as she was about to lay her head on Tony's chest, they were both startled by a small voice near the doorway.

"What are you doing, Ima and Abba?"

"OH, SHIT!" Tony mumbled just loud enough for Ziva to hear.

"Ima, why are Abba's boy parts in your girl parts?"

"SHIT!" Ziva forgot that they were uncovered. "Now what?" she whispered to her husband. They locked gazes, both at a loss as to how to proceed. Neither one had expected to be in this situation.

"Um, beats me, Zi. Roll to my left side, maybe we can at least not give her full view…" Ziva rolled with him and then rose up on her elbow. As they rolled they separated bodies.

"What is it, Tali?" Ziva figured Tali had a bad dream or needed something.

"Anthony barfed all over his crib." Tali stated it bluntly. Tony tried not to grin; almost four year olds had a way of stating things in a rather matter of fact manner. "He stinks."

"Let me get my robe on and I will clean him up," Ziva rolled and stood up, as Tony rolled away from Tali and grabbed his boxers from the floor. Ziva put her robe on as Tony stood up pulling his boxers to his waist.

"I saw Abba's butt," Tali giggled. Tony pulled on a pair of sweats and followed Ziva and Tali to Anthony's room.

Ziva flipped on the light, "Bath or bed?" she asked Tony. Anthony was sitting in a puddle of vomit and covered from head to toe. "Tali please go sit in the rocking chair." Tali picked up several of Anthony's books and sat in the rocking chair.

"I had bed last time; I'll take bath this time." Tony picked Anthony up under the arms, holding the little boy out away from himself and walked in to the shared bathroom with Tali's room. He set Anthony on the tile floor and started the bath water running. He undressed the baby and wadded up the sleeper.

Ziva stripped the sheets off the bed, wiped the mattress down with a washrag, and then carried the sheet, washrag, blanket, and Anthony's sleeper, which Tony had handed to her in a wad, to the laundry room. She started the washer on the extra wash and extra rinse cycle and headed back to Anthony's room.

Tony got Anthony in the bathtub and washed the boy from head to toe. Anthony splashed and played with the water, getting his Abba soaked. "Tali, would you please bring me one of Anthony's towels?" Tony called to his daughter. She came in to the bathroom with a hooded towel.

"Good; he doesn't stink anymore." She handed the towel to her Abba as he lifted the baby from the tub. Tony wrapped the towel around his son, and headed to put a clean diaper and sleeper on him.

Ziva was finishing putting clean sheets on the bed as Tali followed Abba into Anthony's room. She walked to her Ima and watched her fix the bed. "I'm glad it doesn't smell like barf in here anymore."

Ziva smiled at her daughter, "He is just a baby, Tali. He cannot help it."

"But it stinks, Ima. It makes me feel sick." Tali sighed.

"Thank you for helping, Tali," Ziva hugged the little girl. "I am glad you let Abba and me know about the mess."

Tony had a clean and dressed Anthony in his arms. "Thank you, Tali." He ruffled her hair and she scowled at him.

"So, what were you and Ima doing, Abba? Why did you have no clothes on?"

Tony rolled his eyes at Ziva; they both had hoped she had forgotten about what she walked in on earlier.

"We were doing adult things." Ziva hoped that would be enough of an explanation for her curious daughter. Tony made eye contact with his wife; he hoped Tali would be satisfied with her Ima's answer.

As Tony moved to the rocker with Anthony, Ziva bent down to Tali's level, "Let us go read in your room, Tali, so you can go back to sleep."

"Why do you do grown-up things with no clothes on?" Ziva looked at Tony who rolled his eyes again.

"Sometimes grown-ups who love each other a lot do things with no clothes on." Tony tried to be deliberately vague. "Good luck, Zi."

"What book do you want to read, Tali?" Ziva led her eldest to her bedroom, hoping that choosing a book would distract her from any more questions.

Thirty minutes later, both kids were asleep in their beds and their parents were back in their own room. Ziva looked at Tony, "Tomorrow we are buying a lock for the bedroom door!"


End file.
